If your emotions are “racing like a rollercoaster”, start with a brief pause: notice what you feel in your body, name the emotion and choose one small action that calms you (breathing, connecting with your body, stepping out for 3 minutes of fresh air). Calming down is not about suppressing – it is more about taking back the wheel over what you do next.

Calming your emotions is a skill that can be learned – without judging yourself and without the pressure of being “always calm”.

Why does “calm down” usually not work?

Emotions are not a system error. They are signals – they often say: “this matters to me”, “I am overloaded”, “I need support”. When you try to switch them off immediately, they usually come back with double the force. A more effective approach is: notice – name – choose a step.

10 ways to calm your emotions here and now

  1. 4–6 breathing: inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6 seconds, 10 repetitions.
  2. 5-4-3-2-1 grounding: 5 things you can see… down to 1 thing you can taste.
  3. Name the emotion: “I feel anger / anxiety / shame”. Naming it alone lowers the tension.
  4. Relax your body: shoulders down, jaw loose, hands open.
  5. A cool stimulus: cold water on your wrists or face (briefly).
  6. Micro-movement: 2 minutes of walking, a few squats – the body “burns off” the tension.
  7. One sentence of truth: “This is hard, and I can get through it step by step”.
  8. Reduce stimuli: mute notifications, dim the light, close your eyes for 3 minutes.
  9. Connection: message someone: “I need a moment to talk”.
  10. A 10-minute plan: what will I do over the next 10 minutes to make things a little easier?

How to calm your emotions over the longer term (the ACT approach)

In ACT we do not fight for “no emotions”. We learn to make room for what you feel while steering your life towards your values. What helps includes: defusion (distancing yourself from intrusive thoughts), mindfulness and consistently choosing small actions.

When is it worth talking to a psychologist?

If tension returns every day, you feel overloaded, or your emotions begin to affect your sleep, relationships and work – a consultation can help you put together a plan and find strategies that work for you.

If you would like to look at this calmly and step by step, you can book a consultation. See the services and get in touch. You may also like to look at: well-being and mental health and stress and anxiety.

FAQ – emotional calming

Is calming emotions the same as suppressing them?
No. Suppressing is “I pretend I feel nothing”. Calming is regaining influence: I see the emotion, I make room for it and I choose what to do next.
What if I cannot name what I am feeling?
That is common. You can start with your body: “my stomach is tight / my shoulders are tense”. Sometimes the name of the emotion only comes afterwards.
How long should calming down take?
Sometimes 2–5 minutes is enough to come down from the peak of tension. It is not about “complete calm”, but about coming down one level.
Can you calm down when the situation really is difficult?
Yes – calming down does not mean the problem disappears. It means you have more resources to respond wisely.

This content is for information purposes only and does not replace an individual medical or psychological consultation.

Natalia Kostusiak, MA – psychologist
Natalia Kostusiak, MA • Psychologist
Author of psychoeducational articles that promote knowledge about mental health.